Now with extra Science!

Welcome...to the world of SCIENCE!

Yes, science, such a wonderful thing. Ever since we invented it back in 1958, we scientists have been studying and inventing more and more science. Bit of a good idea there, since before the invention of science, we scientists didn't have much to do. But, now that it's been around for a good 49 years, science is definitely here to stay.

My name is Rutherford Jones, scientist extraordinaire. I'm transmitting this to you, the reader, from my 'aeroship' (dirigible, for those of you who do not understand such complex and sciency terms) which is hovering at a steady six thousand ft. in the air (which we in the science community call the 'Blogosphere'). I'm writing this using a complicated piece of machinery known as a 'computer'. It is connected to the 'Internet', which, I am informed, is like a series of tubes.

You see, I know these things because I am no ordinary scientist. I am a super-scientist. We are an elite few, who study everything, we invented the wheel, the laser and the Omniglobulator (look for that next year). Part of being a super-scientist, however, is the adventure. Yes, I know we'd all rather be tucked away in our safe, little labs (that's laboratory, for those of you not 'up to scratch' with the current scientific vernacular), but when you call yourself a man of science, you must answer the call of adventure, and face danger at every turn. Just last week I wrestled a giant, mutated crocodile for some science. That science proved invaluable in the pursuit of even more science.

The good thing about science is that you can never have too much science. It's an ever-changing field, and you need to stay abreast of the new developments. Why, when we first discovered the Earth in 1929 (pre-dating science by about 29 years) people deduced (incorrectly, for those of you who still haven't caught up with us) that the Earth was flat. It is, in fact an oblate spheroid (or at least, close to one). But enough about that, you should all know this from having read my book, 'A Brief History of Science.'

I'm writing this 'web log' to document my heroic and scientific exploits as I travel around the globe (or oblate spheroid) to solve mysteries, stop crime, and invent more science. The world just doesn't have enough science in it, and super-scientists (such as myself) have been charged to create as much science as possible. Of course, it would be impossible to do all of this science myself, so I have employed several companions or 'sidekicks' if you will.

Capt. Oedipus Rex, my hot-shot, maverick pilot, who flies me wherever I need to go. He's far too cocky for my liking, but his rogue-ish charm and manual dexterity (his primary stats in D&D) have gotten us in and out of trouble more times than I can count (just kidding, I'm a scientist, I can count to anything).

Dr. Charlene Jackson, my beautiful, buxom lab assistant. She claims to hold a PhD in Science, but whenever I ask her to produce it, she says that she forgot to bring it. Still, I give her the benefit of the doubt, especially as I need...company on my journeys. Science is a harsh mistress, and one who provides little in the way of erotic stimulation. Some would argue that she isn't much of a mistress at all, then. I'd tend to agree with them, and so it's not really an argument anymore. Therefore, Charlene has become my new mistress and she often helps me erect my retort stand, if you know what I mean. She also performs sexual favours for me. Both services are appreciated, as I need both a lab assistant and a female companion to function properly.

Anyway, that's enough web logging for now - look at me still talking when there's science to do. Soon, I hope to chronicle some of my more interesting scientific adventures, like the time I fought Dracula, and that time that I singlehandedly broke the Internet. Those, however, can wait. I hear the call of science, and I must answer.

Until next time, keep on sciencing!